wecanbealright | open post

Okay. [His voice is soft, neutral. Accepting it and trying not to show his worry. Definitely trying not to show anything that would make Judah think he's judging him for it -- not that he is, but Dave knows it can be easy to misinterpret things when you're talking about something like this.

He squeezes him gently, considering for a moment before he asks:] Are you still feeling it?

No. [Too quick, voice giving him away as he rethinks his answer.] A little...it's better.

[He goes quiet again for a few moments, this time taking stock of what he is feeling, trying to find the words for it even if it's hard to explain the way sometimes things just don't feel right and he doesn't know why.] I took one of the pills for emergencies...I think that's helping. [A little quieter, because it's hard not to feel guilty, to feel like he's asking for too much or pulling Dave away from something else.] And...this, helps.

Good. [This time he can't quite keep the relief out of his voice, pressing another quick kiss to the side of Judah's head before nuzzling into him, eyes closed, breathing him in.] That's what they're there for. And this, you can always have.

[Any time he wants, really. The list of things Dave wouldn't drop for Judah at this point is pretty small, and most of them are the kind of disaster that thankfully isn't that frequent. (Some of the things he would push aside are also that kind of disaster, though most of those are about his own health.)]

[His hands move slightly, gripping onto Dave's shirt, fingers on one hand tapping away, the movement getting slower the more the medicine takes hold, the other hand rubbing against the fabric, memorizing the soft texture.]

I'm not -- are you sure it's okay you're up here? [He can never tell how often Dave actually has the time off, or if he just takes it off to check on him. He's grateful, but feels awful that it's something he even needs.]

[He nods immediately, though he doesn't really expect that to be enough, which is why he goes on quickly, trying to reassure any worries.] I was planning on it, so plans haven't even changed. Hunter came in on time, there's no more deliveries, they're ready for the afternoon rush.... There shouldn't be any problems, everything's going pretty smooth.

[He hesitates a moment after, squeezing Judah's shoulder gently before adding quieter:] And I'd rather be here anyway, so.

[The urge to apologize for Dave having to spend his time off just taking care of him is far too strong so he holds back for a moment, rubbing the fabric, tap, tap, tapping until he can find a better response.

He knows it's getting better, at least, he's hitting goals in therapy, following instructions, doing the work, so that progress is easy to see, but it's hard not to still feel like a burden, even when he knows if roles were reversed, he would have no problem doing the same.]

I'm glad you're here...[He eventually says, allowing himself that much, expressing the gratitude instead of the shame.]

Yeah. Me too. [Said with nothing but sincerity. Even if things aren't great, he'd rather be here for it than think about Judah suffering through it alone. He knows what it feels like -- not the exact same problems, but close enough, and the less Judah has to deal with that, the better.]

You want to sit? It sounds like King was dragging you all over. [It's not even so much an offer as a comment, trying to lighten things a little.]

Yeah, okay, sure. [He nods into Dave's shoulder, swallowing before he lets go, stepping back quickly, part of the mask slipping back on, his walls coming back up when Dave can see his face -- it's not something he is aware he is doing, unable to help the way he still struggles to be completely vulnerable.

The medicine helps keep a bit of the uncertainty at bay, enough that he takes Dave's hand, walking with him to the couch when normally pulling away would have likely been the end of the affection as well.]

[He's doing his best not to show his nerves, still not quite sure what the right thing to do is -- but it helps a little when Judah doesn't pull away completely. Enough that when they settle, he carefully moves to tug Judah into his side, settling an arm around him before checking quietly:] Do you mind?

[Instead of answering with words, he turns his body more fully into Dave’s, wrapping his arms around Dave’s waist again and leaning his head down against Dave’s shoulder. King watches the whole transition to the couch, lifting her head to see if it’s worth getting up from her own bed before apparently deciding to only half ass it, moving to lie down on both of their feet instead of getting onto the couch. If anything the presence of King below him only helps him settle further.]

I guess I wasn’t done yet. [The need to be held still strong enough to give into the urge instead of ignoring it.]

[If he's honest, he's kind of glad. Not that Judah's having a rough day, he'd always prefer that not to happen, but the fact that he's staying close is nice. It feels good to wrap around him, giving in to the urge to hold on tightly for the moment. Like he's actually able to help for once. So much of the time he wants to, and it barely feels like he manages to do anything.]

Good thing I'm still here, then. [His cheek settles against the top of Judah's head, one arm tight around him, the other resting over his arm.]

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